Thursday, December 25, 2014

Introduction


Thirty-four years ago, I became a disciple of the late Sri Chinmoy. My discipleship lasted nine years and they were some of the best years of my life and, without a doubt, the most significant.

This memoir is about that journey and the enduring effects it had on me as a man.

It's also about a number of troubling revelations of sexual misconduct by Sri Chinmoy, which have been made by an increasing number of his female disciples, and how those revelations have affected my understanding of my guru.

It's not all doom and gloom, and I'd argue none of it is. I've met some truly unique and special individuals during the course of my spiritual development. I hope to introduce you to some of them.

Most importantly, I want to give you a glimpse of my experience. I hope it will inspire other current and former disciples to write their own memoirs.

Together, I'd like to think that someday our collective stories will make up a mosaic that will give future seekers a complete and diverse picture of what it was actually like to be a disciple of Sri Chinmoy.

Below, you'll find a table of contents or you can always use the links on the left.

Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,

Yogaloy

Please don't hesitate to write me with questions, comments, criticisms or corrections at yogaloy@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear from you all.

Table of Contents

BOOK ONE

I. Mahasamadhi.

1. A New Beginning.
2. A New York Goodbye.
3. Guru's Death.

II. Growing Up.

4. David Moretti.
5. Three Muskateers.
6. The Book.
7. Camp de Mar.
8. Shame as a Driving Force.
9. On to High School.

III. Searching for More.

10. The Seed Begins to Sprout.
11. Prahlad.
12. The Last Straw.
13. Awakening.
14. Novitiate.
15. Prakash.

IV. Early Days on the Path.

16. First Steps on the Path.
17. School Days.
18. A New York Dream.
19. Idolatry.
20. New York at Last.
21. Goodbye.
22. Tightening the Screws.
23. Planning.
24. A New Leader.
25. Alo Devi.
26. Making the Grade.
27. April '83.
28. "Outer" Graduation.

V. Coming Into My Own.

29. Rick.
30. Names.
31. Made Man.
32. God's Banner.
33. Back Home.
34. December 1983.
35. Phanindra.
36. A New Year.
37. The Summer Games.
38. Jigisha.

VI. Closer to New York.

39. Pulin.
40. The Gospel.
41. Anugata.
42. Rick Gets His Name.
43. My Worst Quality.
44. I Don't Get My Name.
45. I Get My Name.
46. I Become a New Yorker.

VII. Finally with the Master.

47. A Day in the Park.
48. Personal Mythology.
49. The 200 Pound Lift.
50. The 200 Mile Race.
51. Slowing Down for Context.
52. At the Gates of Trance.
53. Jeevan.
54. The Call.

VIII. Reaching My Limits.

55. August Drama.
56. Doubting Thomas.
57. The Gates Open.
58. The Limits of Power.
59. Full Moon, New Moon.
60. The Year Ends.
61. 7,063.

IX. Cracks in the Armor.

62. The Saint.
63. Birthday Blessing.
64. Premik.
65. Fight on the Block.
66. Peace Run '87.
67. Weight and Lifting.
68. Polishing the Rough Diamond.

X. Beginning of the End.

69. The Flame is Gone.
70. Sundar.
71. Lonely Winter.
72. Breaking Down.
73. Lexicon.
74. New Ventures.
75. The Nurse.

XI. Running Away.

76. A New Goal Forms.
77. The Note.
78. Five-Year Reunion.
79. Planning (Part Deux).
80. Audition.
81. Freedom.
82. Called Back.
83. The Sit Down.

XII. The Old College Try.

84. Sudhir.
85. Shambhu's Offer.
86. Runnin' on Empty.
87. Bansidhar.
88. The Run Concludes.
89. Happy Birthday Mom!
90. Sport's Day '89.
91. Gaining Perspective.

XIII. Last Days.

92. Settling Back In.
93. La Petit Mort.
94. The Palladium, The Prostitute & The Palanquin.
95. Preparing to Leave for Good.
96. The Last Supper.
97. Bhima & Tejiyan.
98. Interlude.

XIV. Starting Over.

99. Starting Over.
100. Meeting My Better Half.
101. Sumati.
102. A Visit to New York.
103. A Plan Develops.
104. Delayed Entry Program.
105. Berkeley.
106. Remembrance.

XV. Joining the Navy.

107. In the Navy.
108. Navy Intelligence.
109. The Games Begin.
110. Class 187.
111. Quitter.
112. Life Begins Anew.
113. Looking Back.
114. My New Home.
115. Navy Chow.
116. Mail Call.
117. Alone at Sea.
118. Call from the Big House.
119. Home from Sea.
120. The End in Sight.
121. One Year!

XVI. Getting Schooled.

122. Freedom!
123. Into Balance.
124. Re-Awakening.
125. Growing Family.
126. My Guru and His Disciple.
127. Lines of Communication.

XVII. The Last Test.

128. Confidence-Light.
129. One L.
130. The Blue Lotus.
131. The Board.
132. In Memory: Sudhir.
133. The Truth.
134. Night Terrors.
135. Bryon Granmo.
136. Savitri.
137. Last Words.
138. Sudhir's Call.
139. Conclusion.

XVIII. Epilogue.

140. My Hopes for the Center.
BOOK TWO


I. Taking Another Look.

141. More to Discuss.
142. The Golden Boy.
143. Zero Sum Game.
144. Cartwheels in a Sari (Part One).
145. Cartwheels in a Sari (Part Two).
146. Cartwheels in a Sari (Part Three).
147. Ashrita.
148. Ranjana.
149. Gaining Influence.
150. Akuli.
151. Objectivity.
152. Databir.

II. A Seeming Paradox.

153. Things Have Changed.
154. Paradox.
155. The Ethical Case.
156. Metaphysical Assumptions.
157. Sanyassa & Tyaga.
158. The Tantra.
159. Circling Back.
160. Realization.
161. Neuroanatomy & Yoga.
162. Crying Wolf?
163. Soliciting Topics.
164. Unconditional Acceptance.

III. New Revelations.

165. Organizational Cancer.
166. Beauty -- A Guest Post by Sundari.
167. Bihagee - A Guest Post.
168. Outing.
169. Comments.
170. A Quick Link.
171. Outing, Part Deux.
172. Hear Me Roar.
173. Karen Armstrong on Compassion.
174. "Even enemies can show respect."

IV. Grateful Nevertheless.

175. Organizational Chemo.
176. An Instructive Example.
177. Living Without Magic.
178. The Anvil.
179. Bithika -- A Guest Post.
180. Suchatula -- Guest Post.
181. A Break with the Past.

A Break with the Past


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